Obsessive... you might say.

I, all of the sudden, became obsessed about clothing and shoes. Just out of the blue. I used to obsess over that shit when I had nothing else obsess over. I went to Torrid.com and spent hours clicking through all the pages. Telling myself, I'd wear that to go clubbing. I don't go clubbing. Shit, I'm lucky if I even go out. So, where does that leave me? Depressed and delusional. Depressed about my weight... depressed that I'm stuck here at home by myself. Delusional enough to practice my makeup just in case I do go out. I'm pregnant. I'm not going anywhere. Depressed and Delusional.

Our big plan is to move back to Wisconsin. Move closer to our friends. Why? I won't be able to go anywhere. I'll have 2 kids by then. I'll have no family up there. I won't have anyone to babysit the little tykes if I want to go out with Michelle and Andrew. Sometimes, I feel that I'm kidding myself. As much as I would love to move back up to Wisconsin, it sometimes feels like a bad decision. I'm delusional to the fact that everything will be fine. I don't think we'll be able to move back to Wisconsin. It really does break my heart. I love Andrew and Michelle. But, how can it work out? Who'll watch the kids? No one.