Can't Sleep...
I've been branded an asshole. And not just a regular ole asshole. The inconsiderate variety of asshole. Like I've said before, I do nothing but disappoint my family. They discuss me behind my back and brand me an inconsiderate little bitch. I am so upset that I can't even sleep. I'm always hearing that everyone has discussions about me. Well, thanks alot people. I am so glad that you guys think that I'm either going to high tail it out of here without a trace or I'm going to let your family starve. Yeah, love ya too!
I wish that I didn't have to live here. I wish I was still in Wisconsin. My past is ALWAYS going to be following me here. I was such a little bitch when I'm younger that I must be the same way as an adult. All of my actions are always considered to be the worse case. That I'm just going to flip out or I do things just to spite people. It's never about me just being lazy or forgetting to get out to Wal-Mart to pick up the rest of the groceries because Simone was having one hell of a hissy fit. No, because I am just the same little bitch as I was as a little kid.
But, I'm not. And that's why I'm so upset. I am not that at all. I just hate it! I'm being misunderstood. And I hate it when they bring up how much of a psycho I was when I was younger. I hate that! I don't even remember most of it. I hate hearing that story about my sister being afraid of me killing her. I hate the fact that when we're reminiscing about our childhood, the only stories I hear about me are the ones where I've gone psycho. I really hate it here.
I've been looking at different apartments. There are some for $250. We'll probably just get a one bedroom for now. We'll have to see. I was going to wait until I got my cost of living loan from school. But I don't think that I can wait that long. It will be 3 or 4 months before I get that. I'll probably get a part time job. That's something that I did not want to do. But I'd rather do that than stick around here and keep disappointing people.
Well, thanks for letting me rant. I feel a little better about the situation. And as always, I'll get over it. But it still hurts knowing that they "discuss" me behind my back. I'm probably misunderstanding them at the same time.
I wish that I didn't have to live here. I wish I was still in Wisconsin. My past is ALWAYS going to be following me here. I was such a little bitch when I'm younger that I must be the same way as an adult. All of my actions are always considered to be the worse case. That I'm just going to flip out or I do things just to spite people. It's never about me just being lazy or forgetting to get out to Wal-Mart to pick up the rest of the groceries because Simone was having one hell of a hissy fit. No, because I am just the same little bitch as I was as a little kid.
But, I'm not. And that's why I'm so upset. I am not that at all. I just hate it! I'm being misunderstood. And I hate it when they bring up how much of a psycho I was when I was younger. I hate that! I don't even remember most of it. I hate hearing that story about my sister being afraid of me killing her. I hate the fact that when we're reminiscing about our childhood, the only stories I hear about me are the ones where I've gone psycho. I really hate it here.
I've been looking at different apartments. There are some for $250. We'll probably just get a one bedroom for now. We'll have to see. I was going to wait until I got my cost of living loan from school. But I don't think that I can wait that long. It will be 3 or 4 months before I get that. I'll probably get a part time job. That's something that I did not want to do. But I'd rather do that than stick around here and keep disappointing people.
Well, thanks for letting me rant. I feel a little better about the situation. And as always, I'll get over it. But it still hurts knowing that they "discuss" me behind my back. I'm probably misunderstanding them at the same time.
posted by Kat @ 1:16 AM
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