yeup... that's right!

Hey all! Thanks for stopping by and reading up on my stuff.... my journal thingy... yup.

Well, I got a call back from Millikin Univesity and they hired someone that had TONS of experience. She actually said that to me. My heart sunk about 3 feet. I was so upset! I cried. I thought that I had mad talents but I guess I was fooling myself and I'm just a big friggin' nobody!

I went to Mr. John's School of Cosmetology and I'm going to sign up for Esthetics course. What's esthetics? Well, it's make up and massage therapy. I went to Mr. John's in High School. I loved it until I had to do perms and roller sets. Dun dun duuuunn!!! I hated it but I loved the facials and massage classes that were taught. It was a lot of fun. So I was going to get into Esthetics that summer. But I didn't have the money. But now that I'm a mommy and I'm 25, I am financially independant and I am entitled to financial aid for school. After going to that admissions appointment my passioned fired back up. It's going to be a lot of fun! YAY! Classes start March 29th. wooooooo.... It's cool!!!

Simone is doing better. She's still got the cough and snot nose but now she's more like herself. She's happy go lucky which makes momma happy! YAY!

I talked to Andrew last night! I miss him and Michelle soooooooo much. I miss everyone in Madison soooo much. I miss Ouija, Erin, Ben and Jenni. Those were my dogs. I talked to Ben last night also. He's doing good. Which is good! We'll be up in Madison in a couple weeks if it's ok with Lisa. I haven't asked her yet. So, is that ok Lisa? lol! But if anyone in Madison or surrounding areas want to come over to see us. That would make us happy!

Chris's birthday is going to be this Saturday. It's going to be fun. We're going to have dinner here and then we're going to go to Sparetime for some Moonlight Bowling. WOOT WOOT!! I've not been bowling in such a loooooong time! So, it'll be fun. I just gotta figure out who's going to be watching the little one.

I went to public aid today. I got hit on while I was there. I rule! LOL! It was kinna creepy but the guy was nice. He has a airbrush business. He's a really good artist. He showed me some pictures and all that. He said that he would make my daughter a free shirt and then he was going to take me out to lunch. I laughed. That's silly. Why would I go out to lunch with someone who would pay for it with Food Stamps? I'm not hating. I'm getting food stamps too. LOL! But yeah.... creepy!

Well, there you have it! All that's been going on for the past week!

(No Subject)

Hey all! I've not heard from any of my interviews. I thought that at least 2 of them went well. I am just so upset. I don't know what to do. I've got a 2:00 appointment at Mr. John's School of Cosmetology. If I do not get offered a job, I'm going to go there for Massage Therapy. It's a 10 month course and back in the day I was going to go there. So, my loving sister set me up an appointment. I'll get Financial Aid and all that. So, that's cool.

My baby girl is sick. You should hear her sad little cough. It is the saddest thing ever! She's got a snotty nose and a fever. Thank god she doesn't have an ear infection. We went to a new doctor (obviously, since we're not going to go up to Madison everytime she's sick) and he was really nice and young. He was actually from Madison. So, that was cool.

But yeah... life pretty much sucks at the moment. We are broke and it sucks.

Woooooo...

Well, the interview that I went to today was very promising. They were impressed in all that I do. I am so going to get my heartbroken. I have high hopes and I can't bring myself down from reality. I just sooo hope that I get this job. It would be awesome!!

I feel fat...

And I'm not saying that because I want attention or I want people to say or you are not. If they would even! LOL! I just soooo blech... My chins are tripling my thighs are smooshing together and now I wobble. My stomach touches my elbows as I type right. Even my upper arms feel the effect of too many cookies or cheese puffs. *sigh* I'm going to be 400 lbs trying to chase around my little daughter. I can't say that I'm going to go and work out. I just don't have the motivation. I'm going to have to accept my fate.... I suppose. I don't know what to do.

There's a kind of Hush...

Well, no one has updated their blog in awhile. 'Cept for Bubz! Quit that job! But anyways, I hope all is well with everyone. I've been struggling to make my life make sense... if that makes sense.

Religion... ... ... hmmmm... I hate this subject. I just want to say everyone out there who is a Juggalo and believing in the Dark Carnival. Good for you! I love ya'll and that will never change. But to me... the Dark Carnival is really Christianity covered up with blood and guts and all that. If you believe in the Dark Carnival... you believe in God. So, who would really be upset if I went back to Christianity?? Probably a lot of people. And a lot of people would be happy. But I'm not in it to make people happy or unhappy.

I've always believed in God. Whether it be by the Carnival or the Bible. Religion is so tricky. It offends people in so many ways. For it or against it... people are offended. I stayed a happy distance away from because I don't like to offend people and I don't like to be offended. Spirituality is my own. It does not matter if Monkeys evolved to man or if time honored Christian traditions were fashioned from ancient Pagan rituals. I just know that the only time that I felt inner peace was when I was in church.

Does this mean that I'm going to be cramming religion down other people's throat? Never! Does this mean that I'm going to be a goody two shoes and think that I'm better than everyone? I already think that I'm better than everyone. So, I guess that won't be any different. LOL! Just kidding! I will never think that I'm better than anyone. I just need to come to terms with me. With my inner self.

I'm just confused right now. I just know that everything happens for a reason. I don't know if I'm going through these trials because I've lost sight of my own spirtuality. Or what. I don't know. Alls I know that I don't have anything to lose.

Alright... that's all I have to say about that.

Yup! 

My new Hair Cut! 

Interviews Galore!!!

Oy vay! I am sooooooo tired. I've had so many interviews lately. It's crazy. I hate the interview process. It drives me nuts. I get so nervous and then I blow it. I just am so tired. Tomorrow, I don't have any interviews. I'm going to take it easy. I have been running around this whole damn town for 2 days straight!!

Yesterday, I had an interview for an Office Assistant at the Macon/Piatt Regional Offices of Education. I think I blew it because I didn't know how to answer the question about cooridinating meetings. Like I know how to cooridinate meetings for them. I don't even know their protocol or software. They called me today and told me that they've hired someone else. It sucks cuz they paid wicked high! Oh well!

I also had an interview for another Office Assistant position at Culligan. That went well. He said that I was well qualified. I was happy to hear that. It pays well also. Just waiting on a call back from them.

Today, I had an interview for a Medical Receptionist and Macon County Eye Center. It's exactly what I did for Dean in Madison. So, that's cool. The interview there went well. The lady really liked me I think. But it smelled like a nursing home. A lot of old people go there for cataracts. That would be a good job for me because it's something that I've done in the past.

But the greatest opportunity of all called me today. The call that I was waiting on since I applied. Millikin University has a position opening for Admin Assistant for the Nursing School Department. On Friday, I have testing and an interview at 2:00 pm. I am really crossing my fingers for that. I could go to college for free! That would be awesome.

*deep breath* This will be all over someday and I will have a job. YAY!!

A Weird Dream

I had a dream that my grandma was moving to New York because we had a foster baby that was moving to New York. So, my grandma, Kirstie Alley, my friends Andrew and Michelle were all moving to New York. I was freaking out. I was always asking Andrew if he was ready and packed. And he would just shrug me off like he was ready. Then I had a feeling that Michelle had left for New York without Andrew. I started freaking out about that. After that I was at my mom's and I was wondering why my dad wasn't home yet. It was weird!!!!

Killing 1 bird with 2 stones... er... is it the other way around?

Heya! I'm very pleased to announce that I have 2 interviews tomorrow. Both are clerical jobs and I hope to have a job soon. *crossing fingers*

We went up to Madison on Saturday hoping to get all of our stuff out of the apartment. But no. We filled up Lisa's huge ole truck and we still have stuff up there. We are hoping to do one more trip. I do believe that is all that we need. *crosses fingers once more* It's crazy!

I've got a lot to learn. I am now coming to realize. I suck. I thought that I was cool. But I'm not. My sisters and my friends who are successful with the whole living on their own have taught me a lot. And there is still more to learn. I do NOT know how to manage my money. I do NOT know how to keep a good house. These things I should have learned before I had a kid. These things I need to learn so that I can teach Simone these things! It's really weird to actually think that I'm not self-sufficient and all that. *cry* But I guess that's why I'm down here. And hopefully, with the things that we learn. We'll be able to live in Wisconsin and stay put! *crosses fingers yet again!*

All right... one last thing... I want to send some good Karma out to DWR. Keep your head up, gurl!

Number 2...

Yeah.... ho hum... Madison, WI is #2 on a list of the best places to live and to find jobs. WTF! I'm stuck here! WAAH!!

I called the Hospital that applied for. They said that they sent me a postcard saying that they'd keep my app on file for a year. And it came today. I was so bummed. I thought that I was a shoe in! I'm going to call ADM tomorrow. I'm so bummed. I'm applying at 2 different colleges. Hopefully I'll get free tuition. I don't know. I'm upset.

Blah ... blah... blah zay blah!

I am sooo freakin' turd. We went out to Pepsi today so that Chris can put in his application. I called WIC so that me and Simone can get in on it. I also put in my application for two jobs at the hospital that would be perfect. I hope I get a call back on that. Cross your fingers all!! We need the luck!!!

Sittin' here with my Baby Daddy!!

Hey ya'll. I've applied to several jobs. On Monday, I'm going to call Kelly Services and see if they have any jobs. I'm going to check the local tech college to see if there is anything available there. YAY! But I am thinking positively at the moment. One of my sister's friends is coming over tonight and she has a list of available jobs and such for Chris and I.

But yeah... it's all in the good. Check back later. Hopefully I'll have some call backs!

GRRRRRRR....!!!

Ok. So... I'm sitting here waiting for Chris and Simone to wake up so that we can get a move on packing and stuff. I am so frustrated right now. I thought that we would have a lot more progress than we do have now. It's so... soooo... frustrating. My fingers hurt because I chewed the nails down. Owie! It hurts to type. I look around and I get so pissed. We're supposed to leave in an hour and 15 minutes. GRRRRR...!!!

And plus, I am so upset that I am leaving a job that I love to come down to Illinois to work at Target. WTF! I am not happy with that at all! I keep looking around for other jobs and there is nothing. Nothing better than Target! WTF! My friend is trying to get me with her employer. Which I would love. But would I really get it? ... target ... whimper...

Well, I gotta find something to do so it looks like we actually did something around here. And God Bless Lisa! She saved us! YAY! Pat on the back when I see ya next!

What?? Another Blog!! Come off it!

That's right. I have yet another blog. Of course, I fell in love with blogger.com because of my man Ouija. I was intrigued that you can leave audio posts. I likey! So, now I have this blog and I think that my Livejournaling days are in the past.

I think that everyone should have a journal of their own. It's a good way of getting everything out that is in your brain. As a way to clear your brain for more thoughts. Ok... people... I have no clue what I'm saying right now. It's nearly 5:00 am and I have had like an hour to an hour and a half of sleep, tops! So, I'm a little loopy. ...ramble... ...ramble...

Wisconsin has been dumped with the most snow its had this winter season. I've been looking out the window and just watching it as more snow falls from the sky. It's beautiful until I have to drive in it. I hate it!! Driving in the snow makes me so nervous and tense. It's just insane!! I was thinking about putting Simone in a snow suit and taking her out in it for a little bit to see what she thinks of it. I think she'll have a blast!

This is my last day in Wisconsin for a very long time. My baby daddy and I have fallen on some rough financial times and everything seems to be "snowballing" it's way down our hill. We just finally decided to pack our pride in and ask my family for help. We'll be moving in with my sister in Central Illinois. God Bless her soul! I am so thankful for her. She has a life and a family of her own. It's very kind of her to take her little sister and her family in too. The house will be so packed. But hopefully we can get financially stable enough to get our own place soon! I know Simone is going to love it. Her cousins love her so much and they give her a lot of love and attention. It will be good for her. It will be good for us too. We need the help! I know my other sister would let us stay with her too but she's only got a one bedroom apartment. So, it's not like she can. My grandma even told us she take us in too if she had the room. I am so lucky to have a family that cares for me that much.

My Illinois friends are so excited that I'm coming back to Illinois too. I've already got plans and I'm not even down there yet! One of my best friends is back in our hometown for a short while until she moves to Virginia with her husband. He's a marine so they'll be stationed not too far from D.C. Me and my other best friend will be visiting her in March. It will be exciting! I've never been to Virginia but I went to D.C. in junior high. So, it'll be fun. Chris already has poker nights planned with my brother in law and his buddies. Moving to Illinois won't be that bad but it's still not Madison. *sigh*

Well, I'm going to go check on my little angel. I'll try to keep this updated but I'm not promising anything! Laters!