Obsessive... you might say.

I, all of the sudden, became obsessed about clothing and shoes. Just out of the blue. I used to obsess over that shit when I had nothing else obsess over. I went to Torrid.com and spent hours clicking through all the pages. Telling myself, I'd wear that to go clubbing. I don't go clubbing. Shit, I'm lucky if I even go out. So, where does that leave me? Depressed and delusional. Depressed about my weight... depressed that I'm stuck here at home by myself. Delusional enough to practice my makeup just in case I do go out. I'm pregnant. I'm not going anywhere. Depressed and Delusional.

Our big plan is to move back to Wisconsin. Move closer to our friends. Why? I won't be able to go anywhere. I'll have 2 kids by then. I'll have no family up there. I won't have anyone to babysit the little tykes if I want to go out with Michelle and Andrew. Sometimes, I feel that I'm kidding myself. As much as I would love to move back up to Wisconsin, it sometimes feels like a bad decision. I'm delusional to the fact that everything will be fine. I don't think we'll be able to move back to Wisconsin. It really does break my heart. I love Andrew and Michelle. But, how can it work out? Who'll watch the kids? No one.

5:03:25 AM

ACK!!!! IT'S 5 AM! I am so tired. But I can't get comfortable. And when I do, Chris either starts yelling at me in Russian in his sleep or he kicks me in the shin!! OW! I have no clue what he said to me around 12 am but it was not English. And I got pissed at him and said "What the hell are you talking about??" And he yelled at me and said, "Errr weehn thaaah thangs.... ouuuu nooooo!!!" What a weirdo.

I got my hair cut. And when I mean cut.... I MEAN CUT! It's a little past the shoulders. It does the little flippy thing. We're going to get family pictures soon. The psycho at school wants to do my makeup.... I think I'll pass. I don't like how she does my makeup. I like the way I do my makeup. She puts the eyeliner all the way around. That just doesn't look good on me. And she likes to do my lips dark. That used to look good on me but now it doesn't. I want to get it colored. Everyone at school said that they like my natural color. ARE THEY NUTS!!! It's plain old boring old brown! YEAH RIGHT!

So, some shit went down in the schoolyard the past couple of nights. Tuesday was a doozy! Someone actually stood up to the queen bee. She came bursting in to tell me all that had happened to her. Cuz, you know, I'm her best friend because am the only one besides her sidekick that is nice to her. So, automatically I get to hear all the trials and tribs of this poor hated soul. Drama Drama Drama blah blah blah... she flipped one of the new girls off. The one that stood up to her. It's not that we're all cowards but it's like we've had to deal with her for awhile so we just let her roll of our backs. It's kinna a habit now so don't feel the need to stand up to her when says things to us that make our toes curl. But Queenie had mouthed off to A about the real world. A has had her business for about 3 years. She knows what the real world is like. So, that's exactly what A had told Queenie. Queenie didn't like that at all. So, the next day the tension was SOOOOO thick. We've just got 2 more weeks and that class room is going to be awesome!!!

Well, I'm going to fill out some complicated tax forms and then head off to bed. Laters!

Spam

But I don't like spam! Spam is everywhere. Fuckin' pop up ads and then we get spam on our phone too. I wish we could get a cell phone. That it would be awesome. But alas we can't because we suck.

I'm tired. So very tired. I'm ready to graduate and start making money. I have a lot to think about. When I graduate I'll be in my second trimester. I need to think if I just want a sit down job as a receptionist until I after I have the baby or if I should just dive right into it? I also want to go to school for massage therapy. I'll have to work while I go to school because I don't think we can survive for another 6 months on just a part time job. So, I'll have lots to think about in the coming months. On a good note... only 2 more weeks of psycho!

On another note.... I hate what FFXI does to my boyfriend. He doesn't pay attention to me or Simone. And we always have to make plans around that stupid game. GRRRRR!!!

YAWN!!

So, ya'll might be wondering what I'm doing home. Ok. Maybe you're not. Maybe you guys have no idea that I'm going sposed to be at school. Well, I am sposed to be at school. My aunt's legs were really bothering her. So, she wasn't able to walk thus unable to watch Simone. I really hate calling into school. That's one more day I'll have to make up. But that's ok.

I am so tired. I have to clean today because we're getting inspected by the landlords tomorrow. So, I guess it was a good thing that I stayed home. I'm working on living room. I hate cleaning. I HATE IT! But I love a clean house. When I start making my good money, I'm hiring a maid. That's what I'm going to do. YUP YUP! I don't know what's wrong with me. I should want to keep a clean house all the time because of Simone. I feel like a terrible mother. But the only solution is to hire someone to clean the house for me.

School is doing good. We've only got 3 or 4 more weeks of our beloved colleague! She's pregnant. There's a couple speculations floating around this one. Speculation #1: She's lying about it for attention. Speculation #2: She got pregnant... for attention. She's my best friend now. Especially on Fridays when there isn't anyone else to talk to. It's really annoying. I really dislike fake people. I really do!

OK! Now that I've updated my blog. EVERYONE ELSE MUST!! You too, Lisa and Erin. GO! DO IT NOW!

The Baby Factory

Hey all! I've got a new blog for my adventures and in parenthood. You don't really have to bookmark this one. When I update it, I'll tag up a link for you to go to. I'm going to do this everytime I have one. So, there you go... It's updated. Enjoy!

The Baby Factory